bquotes = new Array(280); bquotes[1]="

Xander: I don't like vampires.
I'm going to take a stand and say they're not good."; bquotes[2]="

Willow: Why couldn't he be possessed
by a puppy, or some ducks?"; bquotes[3]="

Buffy: It's weird, though. In this way,
I feel like he's still watching me.

Willow: Well, in a way he sort of is...in the way
of that he's right over there."; bquotes[4]="

Buffy: Could I be seeing Billy's asteroid body?

Giles: Astral body, and I don't know."; bquotes[5]="

Cordelia: You're just a souless bloodsucking demon.
They're LAWYERS"; bquotes[6]="

Xander: I laugh in the face of danger.
Then I hide until it goes away"; bquotes[7]="

Xander: Oh, hey, do you want to come to our place for dinner?
Mom's making her famous phone call to the Chinese place.

Willow: Xander, do you guys even have a stove?"; bquotes[8]="

Buffy: I can't put it off any longer.
I have to meet my terrible fate.

Giles: What?

Buffy: Biology."; bquotes[9]="

Miss Calendar: Okay, so this Master guy tried to open
the Hellmouth, but he got stuck in it. And now, all the signs
are reading that he's going to get out, which opens the Hellmouth,
which brings the demons which ends the world.

Giles: Yes. That about sums it up, yes.

Miss Calendar: The part that gets me, though, is where Buffy
is the Vampire Slayer. She's so little."; bquotes[10]="

Xander: You were looking at my neck.

Angel: What?

Xander: You were checking out my neck, I saw that.

Angel: No, I wasn't.

Xander: Just keep your distance, pal.

Angel: I wasn't looking at your neck.

Xander: I told you to eat before we left."; bquotes[11]="

Spike (watching, from a distance, a conversation
between Angel and a woman he just rescued):

- How can I thank you, you mysterious
black-clad-hunk-of-a-knight-thing?

- No need little lady. Your tears of gratitude are enough for me.
You see, I was once a bad-ass vampire. But love, and a pesky curse,
defanged me. And now, I'm just a *big* fluffy puppy with bad teeth.

- No! Not the hair! Never the hair.

- But there must be some way I can show my appreciation.

- No, helping those in need's my job. And working up a load of
sexual tension and prancing away like a magnificent poof is
truly thanks enough.

- I understand. I have a nephew who's gay, so...

- Say no more. Evil's still afoot. And I'm almost out of that Nancy-boy
hair gel I like so much. Quickly! To the Angel-mobile! Away!"; bquotes[12]="

Angel: Oz.

Oz: Angel.

Angel: Nice surprise.

Oz: Thanks.

Angel: Staying long?

Oz: Few days.

Doyle: They always like this?

Oz: No, we're usually laconic."; bquotes[13]="

Buffy: Okay, so I battle evil. But I don't really win.
The bad keeps coming back and getting stronger.
I'm like that kid in the story, the boy that stuck his
finger in the duck.

Angel: Dike. (Buffy looks at him) It's another word for dam.

Buffy: Oh. Okay,that story makes a lot more sense now."; bquotes[14]="

Cordelia: I came over here to tell Buffy to stop this
craziness, and found you all unconscious--again.
How many times have you been knocked out, anyway?
I swear, one of these times, you're going to wake up in a coma.

Giles: Wake up in a...? Oh, never mind. We need to save Buffy
from Hansel and Gretel.

Cordelia: Now, let's be clear. The brain damage happened
before I hit you."; bquotes[15]="

Willow: Diana, Hecate, I hereby license thee to depart.
Goddess of creatures great and small, I conjure thee to withdraw

Amy: (squeak)

Buffy: Maybe we should get her one of those wheel thingies."; bquotes[16]="

Buffy: I don't wanna' bug Giles. He's still kinda' twitchy
when it comes to the subject of Angel.

Xander: Oh, it must be that whole 'Angel killed his girlfriend
and tortured him' thing, and Giles is petty when it comes
to stuff like that."; bquotes[17]="

Buffy: I'm a great cook... in theory. I've eaten a lot"; bquotes[18]="

Spike: Willow, tell 'em what I did.

Willow: You said you were gonna kill me, then Buffy.

Spike: Yes, bad, but let's skip that part and get to the part
where I couldn't bite you."; bquotes[19]="

Spike: You won. Alright? You came in and you killed
them, and you took their land. That's what conquering nations do.
It's what Caeser did, and he's not going around saying
I came, I conquered, I felt really bad about it."; bquotes[20]="

Anya: This isn't a relationship. You don't need me.
All you care about is lots of orgasms.

Xander: Okay, remember how we talked about private
conversations? How they're less private when
they're in front of my friends?

Spike: Oh we're not your friends. Go on.

Giles: Please don't"; bquotes[21]="

Maggie Walsh: We use the latest in scientific
technology and state-of-the-art weaponry, and you,
if I understand correctly, poke them with a sharp stick."; bquotes[22]="

Joyce: But maybe, we could spend some time together soon?
Some night when I'm not being held hostage by
a raving psychotic."; bquotes[23]="

Xander: Just because you're better than us
doesn't mean you can be all superior."; bquotes[24]="

Willow: Nervous?

Xander: No way. I'm full of that good old kamikazee spirit.

Giles: Xander, just because this is never going to work,
there's no need to be negative."; bquotes[25]="

Colonel: Every inch of this installation is under constant,
24-hour surveillance.

Willow: Including the secret lab?

Colonel: Everything! (pause) What secret lab?"; bquotes[26]="

Giles: This one?

Buffy: Amethyst.

Giles: Used for?

Buffy: Breath mints?

Giles: Charm bags, money spells and for cleansing one's aura.

Buffy: Okay, so how do you know if one's aura's dirty?
Somebody comes by with a finger and writes 'wash me' on it?"; bquotes[27]="

Angel: It was a bright afternoon out in front of your school.
You walked down the steps. And I loved you.

Buffy: Why?

Angel: 'Cause I could see your heart. You held it before
you for everyone to see. And I worried that it would be
bruised or torn. And more than anything in my life I
wanted to keep it safe, to warm it with my own.

Buffy: That's beautiful. Or taken literally, incredibly gross.

Angel: I was just thinking that, too."; bquotes[28]="

Cordelia: What's going on? Oh god, is the world ending?
I have to research a paper on Bosnia for tomorrow,
but if the world's ending, I'm not gonna bother."; bquotes[29]="

Cordelia: If the world doesn't end, I'm gonna need a note."; bquotes[30]="

Buffy: You're missing the whole point of Halloween.

Willow: Free candy?!"; bquotes[31]="

Willow: You're thinking too much. Maybe you
need to be impulsive.

Buffy: Impulsive? Do you remember my ex-boyfriend?
The vampire? I slept with him, he lost his soul, and now
my boyfriend's gone forever and the demon that wears
his face is killing my friends. The next impulsive decision
I make will be my choice of dentures.

Willow: Okay. The Angel thing went badly. I'm on board with that."; bquotes[32]="

Willow: The only solution is the final solution.

Xander: Nuke the school? I like that.

Willow: Not quite. Exorcism.

Cordelia: Are you crazy? I saw that movie. Even the priest died."; bquotes[33]="

Willow: Everything seems normal. Not a snake, not a wasp.

Cordelia: Yup. School can open tomorrow.

Xander: Explain to me again how that's a good thing?

Cordelia: I'm drawing a blank."; bquotes[34]="

Giles: Nothing left but skin and cartilage.

Xander: In other words, this was no boating accident."; bquotes[35]="

Buffy: So, something ripped him
open and ate out his insides.

Willow: Like an Oreo cookie. Well, except for, you know,
without the chocolatey cookie goodness."; bquotes[36]="

Spike: It's a big rock. Can't wait to tell my friends.
They don't have a rock this big."; bquotes[37]="

Angel: Acathla turned to stone, as demons
sometimes do, and was buried where neither man nor
demon would want to look... unless, of course,
they're putting up low-rent housing."; bquotes[38]="

Kendra: I call it Mr. Pointy.

Buffy: You named your stake?

Kendra: Yes.

Buffy: Remind me to get you a stuffed animal."; bquotes[39]="

Buffy: What do you want?

Spike: I told you. I want to stop Angel.
I want to save the world.

Buffy: Okay, you do remember that you're a vampire, right?

Spike: We like to talk big... vampires do. I'm going
to destroy the world.
That's just tough-guy talk. Strutting around with
your friends over a pint of blood.
The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing,
Manchester United. And you've got people.
Billions of people walking around like
Happy Meals with legs. It's all right here.
But then someone comes along with a vision.
With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off.
Good-bye, Picadilly.
Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square."; bquotes[40]="

Joyce: Have we met?

Spike: You hit me with an ax one time. Remember? Uh,
'Get the hell away from my daughter!'

Joyce: Oh. So, do you, uh, live here in town?"; bquotes[41]="

Giles: It's a trick. They get inside my head,
make me see things I want.

Xander: Then why would they make you see me?

Giles: You're right. Let's go."; bquotes[42]="

Giles: In order...to be worthy...you must perform
the ritual...in a tutu. Pillock!

Angel: All right, someone get the chain saw."; bquotes[43]="

Willow: Maybe we shouldn't be too couply around Buffy.

Cordelia: Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever
liked her turned into a vicious killer and had to be
put down like a dog?

Xander: Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell or what?"; bquotes[44]="

Faith: Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you
hungry and horny?

Buffy: Well... sometimes I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards."; bquotes[45]="

Willow: Oz is a werewolf.

Buffy: It's a long story.

Oz: I got bit.

Buffy: Apparently not that long.

Faith: Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin'
my leg, we're five-by-five, ya' know?

Oz: Fair enough."; bquotes[46]="

Cordelia: What is stalking nowadays, like, the third
most popular sport among men?

Angel: Fourth, after luge"; bquotes[47]="

Angel: It's complicated how this all happened, Buffy,
you know. It's kind of a long story.

Buffy: Your new sidekick had a vision, I was in it, you came to Sunnydale?

Angel: Okay, maybe not that long."; bquotes[48]="

Cordelia: Oh my god! She killed him! (touches dust)
Oops. My bad. It's just dust. I forgot to clean under the rug.

Doyle: What are you trying to give me a heart attack?

Cordelia: Hey, don't blame me if he's too cheap to hire a cleaning lady."; bquotes[49]="

Angel: She murdered a man right in front of me,
and I can't even testify to that fact in a court of law.

Cordelia: Well, maybe in night court you could..."; bquotes[50]="

Cordelia: Do you know what he's going to do to
me when he finds out I let his car get stolen? I mean,
what are the chances that a vampire has full insurance
with a low deductible?"; bquotes[51]="

Anya: For a thousand years I wielded the powers
of the Wish. I brought ruin to the heads of unfaithful men.
I brought forth destruction and chaos for the pleasure
of the lower beings. I was feared and worshipped across
the mortal globe. And now I'm stuck at Sunnydale High.
Mortal.
Child.
And I'm flunking Math."; bquotes[52]="

Willow: Old reliable? Yeah, great. There's a sexy nickname.

Buffy: Well, I didn't mean it as...

Willow: No, it's fine, I'm Old Reliable.

Xander: She just means, you know, the geyser.
You're like a geyser of fun that goes off at regular intervals.

Willow: That's Old Faithful.

Xander: Isn't that the dog that the guy had to shoot...?

Willow: That's Old Yeller.

Buffy: Xander, I beg you not to help me."; bquotes[53]="

Buffy: Will, wait. I'm really sorry.

Willow: Buff, I'm storming off. It doesn't really
work if you come with me."; bquotes[54]="

Buffy: Willow, you're alive.

Willow: Aren't I usually?"; bquotes[55]="

Buffy: It was exactly you, Will. Every detail. Except for
your not being a dominatrix... as far as we know.

Willow: Oh, right, me and Oz play Mistress of Pain every night.

Xander: Did anyone else just go to a scary visual place?

Buffy: Oh, yeah.

Giles: (raises glasses)"; bquotes[56]="

Willow: It's horrible. That's me as a vampire? I'm
so evil, and skanky. And I think I'm kind of gay.

Buffy: Willow, just remember, a vampire's personality has
nothing to do with the person it was.

Angel: Well, actually... That's a good point."; bquotes[57]="

Wesley: Back, creature of the night! Leave this place!

Evil Willow: Don't wanna.

Wesley: (threatens with holy water)

Evil Willow: (sighs) Whatever."; bquotes[58]="

Giles: Demons after money. Whatever happened
to the still-beating heart of a virgin?
No one has any standards anymore."; bquotes[59]="

Wesley: Wait for Faith.

Buffy: That could be hours. The girl makes Godot look punctual."; bquotes[60]="

Willow: I mean, please. Does Angel come up to
Faith's standards for a guy? Let's see, is he breathing?

Buffy: Actually, no."; bquotes[61]="

Buffy: Look, I know this new guy's a dork, but...
Well, I have nothing to follow that. He's pretty much just a dork."; bquotes[62]="

Xander: I have my pride. Okay, so I don't have
a *lot* of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this."; bquotes[63]="

Cordelia: You can't see everything. You're just a
vampire like everyone else. . . that didn't come out right."; bquotes[64]="

Cordelia: We were just discussing whether or
not we should offer to pay Gunn.

Angel: No you weren't.

Wesley: Well, our discussions tend to go about 3 minutes,
then it's strictly name calling and hair pulling."; bquotes[65]="

Gunn: Fair Cordelia. You still savin' my life?

Cordelia: Every minute.

Gunn: How's that workin' out?

Cordelia: You're alive aren't you?"; bquotes[66]="

Buffy: She's playing you. She tried to kill you.

Angel: That was just. . . That was just a cry for help.

Buffy: A cry for help is when you say \"Help\" in a loud voice."; bquotes[67]="

Angel: Donuts?

Wesley: Developed a sweet fang, have you?"; bquotes[68]="

Wesley: I can't tell you how sorry I am that I allowed this to happen.

Cordelia: I believe it was Faith who allowed her
elbow to collide with my face.

Wesley: At least you only got the elbow.

Cordelia: Well, if it's any consolation, it looks like you
were tortured by a much larger woman"; bquotes[69]="

Xander: Hmm, and we thought just because we
didn't have any money or any place to go, this'd be a
lackluster evening.

Willow: I know! We could go to the Bronze, and sneak in
our own tea bags and ask for hot water.

Xander: Hop off the outlaw train, Will, before you land us all in jail."; bquotes[70]="

Cordelia: Buffy, these men are rich, and I am
not being shallow.
Think of all the poor people I could help with all my money."; bquotes[71]="

Giles: What are you doing?

Willow: Oh. Sorry. The reflection thing that you don't have...
Angel, how do you shave?"; bquotes[72]="

Angel: Buffy.

Buffy: Angel.

Xander: Xander."; bquotes[73]="

Giles: I'll have you know that I have very,
um, many relaxing hobbies.

Buffy: Such as?

Giles: Well, um...I enjoy cross-referencing.

Buffy: Do you stuff your own shirts or do you send 'em out?"; bquotes[74]="

Xander: She must be right. We must have some kind of amnesia.

Buffy: I don't know what that is, but I'm certain I don't
have it. I bathe quite often."; bquotes[75]="

Buffy: So. You saw their faces, but you can't describe them.

Spike: Well, they were human. Two eyes each, kind of in the middle."; bquotes[76]="

Buffy: Besides, it's kind of my job.

Spike: For now.

Buffy: What, you want me to stop working?

Spike: Well, let's see - do I want you to give up killing my friends?
Yeah, I've given it some thought."; bquotes[77]="

Wicca girl: We come together, daughters of
Gaia, sisters to the moon. We walk with the darkness,
the wolf at our side. Through the waterfall of power,
to the blackest heart of eternity.
I think we should have a bake sale."; bquotes[78]="

Xander: Dinner is served. And my very own recipe.

Willow: Ooh, you pushed the button on the microwave that says 'popcorn'?

Xander: Actually, I pushed 'defrost', but Joyce was there in the clinch."; bquotes[79]="

Harmony: Why have you come to our lonely,
small town, which has no post office and very few exports?"; bquotes[80]="

Buffy: You know, you could have brought that up to us
before we did it.

Giles: I did! I said there could be dire consequences.

Buffy: Yes, but you say that about chewing too fast."; bquotes[81]="

Willow: I don't care if it is an orgy of death,
there's still such a thing as a napkin."; bquotes[82]="

Xander: The quick draw is about more than
speed. It's also about pointing the stake the right way.
And there can be splinter issues."; bquotes[83]="

Xander: What do you feel?

Anya: Upset, afraid of being without you, and a little hungry.

Xander: I meant about the house.

Anya: Oh. Still haunted."; bquotes[84]="

Willow: On the other hand, maybe Rodney
just stepped out for a smoke.

Xander: For twenty-one hours?

Willow: It's addictive, you know."; bquotes[85]="

Xander: And this...is called a snack food. Ampata: Snack food?

Xander: Yeah. It's a delicious, spongy, golden cake stuffed
with a delightful, creamy white substance of goodness.

Xander: And the exciting part is that they have no
ingredients that a human can pronounce, so it doesn't
leave you with that heavy food feeling in your stomach."; bquotes[86]="

Buffy: Ampata wasn't evil. At least, not to begin with.
And...I do think she cared about you.

Xander: Yeah, but I think that whole sucking the life out of
people thing would've been a strain on the relationship."; bquotes[87]="

Cordelia: What's her saga?

Xander: She's freaking.

Cordelia: About what?

Xander: The mayor is gonna kill us all during graduation.

Cordelia: Oh. Are you gonna go to 5th period?"; bquotes[88]="

Anya: You know, you can laugh, but I have
witnessed a millennium of treachery and oppression
from the males of the species, and I have nothing but
contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.

Xander: Then why are you talking to me?

Anya: I don't have a date for the prom."; bquotes[89]="

Willow: According to Freddy's latest editorial,
'The pep rally is a place for pseudo-prostitutes to provoke
men into a sexual frenzy, which, when thwarted, results
in pointless athletic competition.'

Xander: And the down-side being?"; bquotes[90]="

Willow: The school paper is edging on depressing
lately. Have you guys noticed that?

Oz: I don't know. I always go straight to the obits."; bquotes[91]="

Jonathon: You think I just want attention?

Buffy: No, I think you're up here in a clock tower with a
high-powered rifle because you want to blend in."; bquotes[92]="

Buffy: Believe it or not, Jonathan, I understand about the pain.

Jonathon: Oh, right. 'Cause the burden of being beautiful
and athletic, that's a crippler."; bquotes[93]="

Cordelia: Oxford. Whoopee. Four years in teabag central.
Sounds thrilling. And M.I.T. is a clearasil ad with housing,
and Yale is a dumping ground for those who didn't get into Harvard.

Willow: I got into Harvard."; bquotes[94]="

Buffy: Looks like a job for wiccan-girl. What do you say,

Will? Big time danger.

Willow: Hey, I eat danger for breakfast.

Xander: But, oddly enough, she panics in the face of breakfast foods."; bquotes[95]="

Mayor Wilkins: She's pretty, Angel. A little skinny.
Still don't understand why it couldn't work out with you
and my Faith. I guess you kinda just have strange tastes in women.

Angel: Yeah, well, what can I say? I like 'em sane."; bquotes[96]="

Spike: Nasty sort of fellow. Lucky for you
blighters I was here, eh?

Giles: Yes. Thank you. Although your heroism is slightly
muted by the fact that you were helping Adam to start a war that would kill us all.

Xander: You probably just saved us so we wouldn't stake you right here.

Spike: Well, yeah. Did it work?"; bquotes[97]="

Cordelia: Hi! You having fun?

Angel: Sure. This is, uh...

Cordelia: Your idea of hell.

Angel: Actually, in hell you tend to know a lot of the people"; bquotes[98]="

Angel: I've been around death before. A lot.
I've lost people. I've killed people...

Cordelia: And you are dead."; bquotes[99]="

Angel: You've never done this before. Look,
it takes tremendous strength -- mental strength.

Wesley: Resistence to suggestion. Yes, I understand that.
I like to think of myself as possessing a certain...

Angel: Wesley, you don't even have sales resistance.
How many thigh masters do you own?

Wesley: The second one was a free gift with my Buns of Steel."; bquotes[100]="

Angel: So, you're back.

Cordelia: Very good, Mister I-can't-tail-the-suspect-during-
the-day- because-I'll-burst-into-flames Private Eye."; bquotes[101]="

Buffy: What do you want?

Angel: The same thing you do.

Buffy: Okay. What do I want?

Angel: To kill 'em. To kill 'em all.

Buffy: Sorry, that's incorrect. But, you do get this watch
and a year's supply of turtle wax. What I want is to be left alone."; bquotes[102]="

Buffy: Well, that works out great. You won't tell
anyone that I'm the Slayer, and I won't tell anyone you're a moron."; bquotes[103]="

Dracula: Very impressive hunt. Such power.

Buffy: That was no hunt. That was just another day on the job.

Care to step up for some overtime?

Dracula: We're not going to fight.

Buffy: Do you know what a Slayer is?

Dracula: Do you?

Buffy: Who are you?

Dracula: I apologize. I assumed you knew. I am Dracula.

Buffy: Get out!"; bquotes[104]="

Cordelia: When did you become Martha Stewart?

Buffy: First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut prosciutto.

Xander: I don't believe she slays, either.

Oz: Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to. "; bquotes[105]="

Xander: Hi, for those of you who just tuned in,
everyone here is a crazy person."; bquotes[106]="

Mayor Wilkins: There's more than one way to skin a cat.
And I happen to know that factually that's true."; bquotes[107]="

Faith: When I'm fighting, it's like the whole world
goes away. I only know one thing: that I'm gonna win, and
they're gonna lose. I like that feeling.

Buffy: Well sure, beats that 'dead' feeling you get when they win and you lose. "; bquotes[108]="

Faith: You can't trust guys.

Buffy: You can trust some guys. Really, I've read about them."; bquotes[109]="

Angelus: No weapons... no friends... no hope.
Take all that away and what's left?

Buffy: Me."; bquotes[110]="

Buffy: Mom, dead people are talking to you. Do the math!"; bquotes[111]="

Buffy: Oh, no... I have to go take an English make-up exam.

They give you credit just for speaking it, right?"; bquotes[112]="

Anya: I swear, I am just trying to find my necklace.

Willow: Well, did you try looking inside the sofa in hell?"; bquotes[113]="

Buffy: Do you remember that demon that
almost got out the night I died?

Willow: Every nightmare I have that doesn't revolve around
academic failure or public nudity is about that thing. In fact,
once I dreamt that it attacked me while I was late for a test and naked."; bquotes[114]="

Buffy: What should we do with the trio over here? Should we burn them?

Willow: I brought marshmallows."; bquotes[115]="

Oz: Sometimes when I'm sitting in class...
you know, I'm not thinking about class 'cause that would
never happen... I think about kissing you. And it's
like everything stops, it's like, freeze frame: Willow kissage."; bquotes[116]="

Spike: Should I really trust you?

Adam: Scout's honor.

Spike: You were a Boy Scout?

Adam: Parts of me."; bquotes[117]="

Harmony: Is Antonio Banderas a vampire?

Spike:No.

Harmony: Can I make him one?

Spike: No. On second thought, yes. Go make him a vampire.
Take your time. Get Melanie and the kids, too."; bquotes[118]="

Willow: I'm a bloodsucking fiend! Look at my outfit!"; bquotes[119]="

Spike: Where have you been pet? Drusilla:
I went for a walk. I met an old man. I didn't like him, he got stuck in my teeth."; bquotes[120]="

Anya: Listen, I have this little project I'm working on,
and I heard you were the person to ask if...

Willow: Yeah, that's me. Reliable dog-geyser-person."; bquotes[121]="

Xander: So, we Bronzin' it tonight?

Willow: Wednesdays, kinda beat...

Xander: Well, we could grind our enemies into talcum
powder with a sledgehammer, but, gosh, we did that last night."; bquotes[122]="

Buffy: Who are you?

Angel: Let's just say, I'm a friend.

Buffy: Yeah, maybe I don't want a friend.

Angel: I didn't say I was yours."; bquotes[123]="

Anya: What a day. Gimme a beer.

Bartender: (deadpan) ID.

(Anya glares at him.)

Bartender: (deadpan) ID.

Anya: I'm eleven hundred and twenty years old! Just gimme a frickin' beer!

Bartender: (deadpan) ID.

Anya: (sigh) Gimme a Coke. "; bquotes[124]="

Anya: You know this isn't your world, right? I mean,
you know you don't belong here.

OtherWillow: No. This is a dumb world. On my world, there
are people in chains, and we can ride them like ponies. "; bquotes[125]="

Spike: What, your Mom doesn't know?

Joyce: Know what?

Buffy: That I'm, uh...in a band. A rock band...with Spike here.

Spike: Right. She plays the-the triangle...

Buffy: Drums.

Spike: Drums, yeah. She's hell on the old skins, you know.

Joyce: (to Spike) And what do you do?

Spike: Well I sing. "; bquotes[126]="

Xander: Calm may work for Locutus of the Borg here,
but I'm freaked out, and I intend to stay that way. "; bquotes[127]="

Spike: Ahhhh, my head. I think I'm sobering up. It's horrible.

Ah... God... I wish I was dead. "; bquotes[128]="

Willow: So, how did it go?

Xander: On a scale from one to ten? It sucked. "; bquotes[129]="

Buffy: Cool! Crossbow! Check out these babies.
Goodbye stakes, hello flying fatality. "; bquotes[130]="

Spike: What's this? Sittin' around watching the telly
while there's evil still afoot? It's not very industrious of you.
I say we go out there and kick a little demon ass!
What, can't go without your Buffy, is that it? Let's find her!
She is the chosen one, after all. Come on! Vampires!
Grrr! Nasty! Let's annihilate them, for justice, and for...
the safety of puppies... and Christmas, right?
Let's fight that evil! Let's kill something! Oh, come on! "; bquotes[131]="

Ford: I wanna be like you...A vampire.

Spike: I've known you for two minutes and I can't stand you.
I don't really feature you living forever. Can I eat him now love?"; bquotes[132]="

Xander: You're considered somewhat cool.

Oz: I am?

Xander: Is it because you always tend to express yourself
in short, non-commital sentences?

Oz: Could be. "; bquotes[133]="

Cordelia: Everything has been taken away because
Daddy made a little mistake on his taxes... for the last twelve years. "; bquotes[134]="

Anya: Men like sports. I'm sure of it.

Xander: Yes. Men like sports. Men watch the action movie,
they eat of the beef, and they enjoy to look at the bosoms.
A thousand years of avenging our wrongs, and that's all you've learned? "; bquotes[135]="

Wesley: The Council's orders are to concentrate on the...

Buffy: Orders. I don't think I'm going to be taking any
more orders. Not from you, not from them.

Wesley: You can't turn your back on the Council.

Buffy: They're in England. I don't think they can tell which way my back is facing. "; bquotes[136]="

Buffy: You read my diary? That is not OK. A diary
is like a person's most private possession. You don't even
know what I was writing about. Hunk can mean a lot of things,
bad things. And, and when I said his eyes were penetrating,
I meant bulging.

Angel: Buffy...

Buffy: A doesn't even stand for Angel for that matter.
It stand for Achmed, a charming foreign exchange student.
And that whole fantasy part has nothing to even do with you, at all...

Angel: Your mother moved your diary when she came in to
straighten up. I watched her from the closet. I didn't read it, I swear.

Buffy: Oh. "; bquotes[137]="

Spike: Death is your art. You make it with your
hands day after day. That final gasp, that look of peace.
And part of you is desperate to know: What's it like?
Where does it lead you? And now you see, that's the secret.
Not the punch you didn't throw or the kicks you didn't land.
She really wanted it. Every Slayer has a death wish.
Even you. "; bquotes[138]="

Xander: I still don't know why we had to
come here to look up information on a killer snot monster.

Giles: Because it's a killer snot monster from outer space. ...I did not say that. "; bquotes[139]="

Buffy: You sound like Mr. Initiative! 'Demons bad, people good.'

Riley: Something wrong with that theorem? "; bquotes[140]="

Buffy: I'm gonna give you all a nice, fun, normal evening
if I have to kill every person on the face of the Earth to do it. "; bquotes[141]="

Xander: I'm not worried. If there's something bad
out there, we'll find, you'll slay, we'll party. "; bquotes[142]="

Xander: So, do we have to speak Spanish when
we see him?' Cause I don't know anything much besides
'Doritos' and 'chihuahua.'"; bquotes[143]="

Angelus: I wanna torture you. I used to love it,
and it's been such a long time. I mean, the last time I tortured
someone, they didn't even *have* chainsaws. "; bquotes[144]="

Spike: Do I have anyone on watch here?
It's called security, people. Are you all asleep?
Or did we finally find a restaurant that delivers?

Ford: I know who you are.

Spike: Yeah, I know who I am too, so what? "; bquotes[145]="

Buffy: I can't believe you got into Oxford!

Willow: It's pretty exciting.

Oz: That's some deep academia there.

Buffy: That's where they make Gileses!

Willow: I know! I can learn, and have scones! "; bquotes[146]="

Anya: I have witnessed a millennium of treachery
and oppression from the males of the species, and I have
nothing but contempt for the whole libidinous lot of them.

Xander: Then why are you talking to me?

Anya: I don't have a date for the prom.

Xander: Well, gosh, I wonder why not? It couldn't possibly
have anything to do with your sales pitch.

Anya: Men are evil. Will you go with me? "; bquotes[147]="

Angelus: You know, I never properly thanked
you for sending me to Hell.

Buffy: No...

Angelus: I'm wondering, where do I start? A card, fruit basket, hmm? Evisceration? "; bquotes[148]="

Xander:The mayor is gonna kill us all during graduation.

Cordelia: Oh. Are you gonna go to fifth period?

Xander: I'm thinking I might skip it.

Cordelia: Yeah. Me too. "; bquotes[149]="

Mayor Wilkins: I have two words that are
going to make all your troubles go away. 'Miniature Golf.'"; bquotes[150]="

Buffy: Okay, that was too close for comfort.
Not that slaying is ever comfy, but... you know what I mean. "; bquotes[151]="

Buffy: The world is what it is---we fight, we die.
Wishing doesn't change that.

Giles: I have to believe in a better world.

Buffy: Go ahead. I have to live in this one. "; bquotes[152]="

Buffy: Your logic does not resemble our Earth logic.

Xander: Mine's much more advanced."; bquotes[153]="

Harmony: How are you gonna kill her? Think!
The second you even point that thing at her, you're gonna
be all 'Aaagh!' (holding her hand to her head in imitation of Spike),
and then you'll get bitch-slapped up and down Main Street,
unless she's finally had enough and just stakes you!

Spike: Sure, it'll hurt like hell for about two hours.
But she'll be dead just a little longer than that. "; bquotes[154]="

Xander: I can not stress enough how much I don't have plans. "; bquotes[155]="

Xander: Nice. Look who's got a bad case of Dark Prince envy.

Dracula: I have no interest in you. Leave us.

Xander: No, we're not going to (imitates Dracula's accent)
leave you. And where'd you get that accent, Sesame Street?
One, two, three - three victims. Mwah, ha, ha, ha!

Buffy: Xander, I'm pretty sure that's Dracula.

Xander: Wow, really? Hey, sorry, man, I was... just jokin' around. "; bquotes[156]="

Buffy: We have a marching jazz band?

Oz: Yeah, but, you know, since the best jazz is improvisational,
we'd be going off in all directions, banging into floats... scary.

Willow: He's just being Oz.

Oz: Pretty much full time. "; bquotes[157]="

Willow: I knew it! I knew it! Well, not in the sense
of having the slightest idea, but I knew there was something I didn't know."; bquotes[158]="

Xander: Isn't that what they called The Slayer?

Willow: Buffy, ohh scary.

Xander: Someone has to talk to her people. That name is
striking fear in nobody's hearts. "; bquotes[159]="

Angel: The Master arose. He let me live...
to punish me. I kept hoping you'd come. My destiny...

Buffy: Is this a get-in-my-pants thing? You guys in Sunnydale
talk like I'm the second coming. "; bquotes[160]="

Anyanka: You trusting fool. How do you know
the other world is any better than this?

Giles: Because it has to be. "; bquotes[161]="

Buffy: I don't play well with others. "; bquotes[162]="

Giles: Since Angel lost his soul, he's regained his sense of whimsy. "; bquotes[163]="

Xander: Are you ready to get down, you funky party weasel? "; bquotes[164]="

Xander: Dorkhead? You lash me with your words! "; bquotes[165]="

Buffy: Do---do you think I chose to be like this?
Do you have any idea how lonely it is, how dangerous?
I would love to be upstairs watching TV or gossiping
about boys or... God, even studying! But I have to save
the world. Again. "; bquotes[166]="

Xander: So, Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?

Buffy: Xander!

Xander: I mean, how'd the laying go? No, I don't mean that either."; bquotes[167]="

Angelus: 'Dear Buffy...' Hmmm. I'm still trying to
decide the best way to send my regards.

Spike: Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an impression.

Angelus: Lacks... poetry.

Spike: Doesn't have to. What rhymes with lungs? "; bquotes[168]="

Buffy: I didn't jump to conclusions. I took a small step,
and conclusions there were. "; bquotes[169]="

Drusilla: Your face is a poem. I can read it.

Xander: It doesn't say 'spare me' by any chance? "; bquotes[170]="

Buffy: No, but, see, Mom, that doesn't really
work for me. We're just going to the magic shop,
no school supplies there.

Dawn: Yeah, Mom. I'm not going to Hogwarts. (chuckles) Hog-
(looks at Buffy, who's not amused) Jeez, crack a book sometime."; bquotes[171]="

Principal Snyder: It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking
like that that gets you eaten. "; bquotes[172]="

Buffy: You're like my fairy godmother, and
Santa Claus, and Q all wrapped up into one. (they look at her)
Q from Bond, not Star Trek. "; bquotes[173]="

Forrest: This is the burden we bear, brother.
We have a gig that would inevitably cause any girl living
to think we are cool upon cool. Yet, we must Clark Kent
our way through the dating scene, never to use our
unfair advantage. Thank God we're pretty. "; bquotes[174]="

Spike: Whatcha doin', love?

Drusilla: I'm naming the stars.

Spike: You can't see the stars, love. That's the ceiling. Also it's day.

Drusilla: No, I can see them. But I've named them
all the same name, and there's terrible confusion. "; bquotes[175]="

Buffy: I wish we could be regular kids.

Angel: I'll never be a kid.

Buffy: Okay then, a regular kid and her cradle-robbing
creature-of-the-night boyfriend. "; bquotes[176]="

Anya: I know what broke up him and Cordelia,
you know. It was you! And your lips!

Willow: No, it was not! Well, yes it was so, but... that was
a long time ago, do you think I'd do that again?

Anya: Why not?

Willow: Hello? Gay now! "; bquotes[177]="

Oz: So, do you steal weapons from the Army often?

Willow: Well, we don't get cable, so we have to make our own fun."; bquotes[178]="

Spike: So when do we destroy the world, already? "; bquotes[179]="

Xander: It's time for me to act like a man... and hide. "; bquotes[180]="

Xander: Yep, vampires are real. A lot of 'em live in Sunnydale.

Willow'll fill you in.

Willow: I know it's hard to accept at first.

Oz: Actually, it explains a lot. "; bquotes[181]="

Principal Snyder: There are some things
I can just smell. It's like a sixth sense.

Giles: No, actually, that would be one of the five."; bquotes[182]="

Buffy: Vampires are creeps.

Giles: Yes. That's why one slays them. "; bquotes[183]="

Xander: I don't like vampires. I'm going to take
a stand and say they're not good. "; bquotes[184]="

Willow: Xander, wanna stay and help me?

Xander: Are you kidding?

Willow: Yes, it was a joke I made up. "; bquotes[185]="

Buffy: Have I ever let you down?

Giles: Do you want me to answer that, or shall I just glare? "; bquotes[186]="

Buffy: I lost a friend tonight and I may lose more!
The whole world may be sucked into hell, and you want
my help 'cause your girlfriend's a big ho?!
Let me take this opportunity to NOT care! "; bquotes[187]="

Cordelia: I guess you should know since
you helped raise that demon that killed that guy that time.

Giles: Yes, do bring that up as often as possible. "; bquotes[188]="

Xander: Yeah, I'm gonna have to go with dead boy on this one.

Angel: Could you not call me that? "; bquotes[189]="

Buffy: We saved the world. I say we have to party. "; bquotes[190]="

Buffy: Ahh, it's okay. Gave Cord and I chance
to spend some quality death time.

Cordelia: And we got these free corsages. "; bquotes[191]="

Buffy: Are you crazy? You just don't sneak up
on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk,
you stomp, or... yodel."; bquotes[192]="

Buffy: Cordelia, your mouth is open, sound is
coming from it, this is never good. "; bquotes[193]="

Buffy: Hey, I know! Why don't you kill them?

Giles: I'm a Watcher, I haven't the skill.

Buffy: Oh, come on. A stake through the heart, a little
sunlight. It's like falling off a log. "; bquotes[194]="

Buffy: I didn't say that I'd never slay another
vampire. It's not like I have all these fluffy bunny
feelings for them, I'm just not gonna get way extracurricular with it. "; bquotes[195]="

Buffy: I gotta stop him before he unleashes
unholy havoc and it's just another Tuesday night in Sunnydale. "; bquotes[196]="

Buffy: I'm sorry, it's just been a really weird day.

Xander: Yeah, Buffy died and everything.

Willow: Wow, harsh. "; bquotes[197]="

Buffy: Mom, the only way you get a new slayer
is if the old slayer dies.

Joyce: Then that means you... When did you die?
You never told me you died.

Buffy: It was just for a few minutes. "; bquotes[198]="

Buffy: Now, we can do this the hard way or...
well, actually, there's just the hard way.

Darla: That's fine with me.

Buffy: Are you sure? Now this is not gonna be pretty.
We're talking violence, strong language, adult content. "; bquotes[199]="

Buffy: People to see, demons to kill."; bquotes[200]="

Buffy: See, this is a school. And we have students
and they check out books and then they learn things.

Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."; bquotes[201]="

Buffy: You know, I just woke up and I looked in
the mirror and thought, 'Hey, what's with all the sin.
' I need to change. I'm dirty, I'm bad with the sex,
and the envy, and the loud music us kids listen to
nowadays. Oh, I just suck at undercover."; bquotes[202]="

Buffy: You're a vampire. Oh, I'm sorry. Was that
an offensive term? Should I say undead American?"; bquotes[203]="

Cordelia: I do what I want to do. And I wear
what I want to wear.
And you know what, I'll date whoever the hell I want to date...
no matter how lame he is."; bquotes[204]="

Drusilla: How do you feel about eternal life?

Xander: We couldn't just start with coffee?"; bquotes[205]="

Giles: Alright. I'll just jump into my time machine,
go back to the 12th century and ask the vampires to
postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while
you take in dinner and a show.

Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm."; bquotes[206]="

Giles: I suspect your mother would want to...
put it on the refrigerator.

Buffy: Yeah. She saw these scores and her head spun
around and exploded.

Giles: I've been on the Hellmouth too long, that was metaphorical, yes?

Buffy: Yes."; bquotes[207]="

Joyce: Something's gonna eat those babies?

Principal Snyder: I think that is so wrong."; bquotes[208]="

Joyce: You belong in a good old fashioned
college with keg parties and boys. Not here with
Hellmouths and vampires.

Buffy: Not really seeing the distinction."; bquotes[209]="

The Master: You were destined to die, it was written.

Buffy: What can I say? I flunked the written."; bquotes[210]="

Oz: It's Willow, she's nearby.

Cordelia: What? You can smell her? She doesn't even wear perfume.

Oz: She's afraid.

Cordelia: Oh my God, is this some sort of residual werewolf
thing? This is very disturbing.

Oz: I really agree."; bquotes[211]="

Oz: Looks dead, smells dead, yet it's moving around.
That's interesting."; bquotes[212]="

Principal Snyder: There are things I will not tolerate:
students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders
with hearts being removed. And also smoking."; bquotes[213]="

Spike: You're not friends. You'll never be friends.
You'll be in love 'til it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag,
and you'll hate each other 'til it makes you quiver, but you'll
never be friends. Real love isn't brains, children. It's blood.
It's blood screaming inside you to work its will.
I may be love's bitch, but at least I'm man enough to admit it."; bquotes[214]="

Willow: You just don't like him 'cause of that time
he beat you up every day for five years.

Xander: Yeah, I'm irrational that way."; bquotes[215]="

Xander: And they say that young people don't learn
anything in high school nowadays, but I've learned to be afraid."; bquotes[216]="

Xander: Generally speaking, when scary things get scared, not good."; bquotes[217]="

Xander: How could you let her go?

Giles: As the soon-to-be-purple area on my jaw will attest, I did not 'let' her go."; bquotes[218]="

Xander: I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct,
stake through the heart, no muss, no fuss."; bquotes[219]="

Xander: The band, yeah. They're great. They march.

Willow: Like an army. Except with music, instead of bullets, and usually no one dies."; bquotes[220]="

Xander: Well, I guess that makes it official. Everybody's paired off.
Vampires get dates. Hell, even the school librarian sees more action than me."; bquotes[221]="

Buffy: I told one lie... I had one drink...

Giles: Yes. And you were very nearly devoured by a giant
demon snake. The words, 'Let that be a lesson' are
a tad redundant at this juncture."; bquotes[222]="

Angel: I knew this was gonna happen.

Buffy: What? What do you think is happening?

Angel: You're 16 years old, I'm 241.

Buffy: I've done the math.

Angel: You don't know what you're doing. You don't know what you want.

Buffy: Oh, no. I think I do. I want out of this conversation."; bquotes[223]="

Giles: Might I have a word?

Buffy: Have a sentence even."; bquotes[224]="

Spike: I did a couple of slayers in my time.
I don't like to brag. Who am I kidding? I love to brag.
One time, during the Boxer Rebellion..."; bquotes[225]="

Spike: If every vampire who said he was at the
Crucifixion was actually there it would've been like Woodstock.
I was at Woodstock. I fed off a flower person and I spent six hours
watching my hand move."; bquotes[226]="

Xander: I don't get your crazy system!

Giles: It's called the alphabet.

Xander: Would ya look at that."; bquotes[227]="

Buffy: When Giles sends me on a mission, he says 'please.' And afterwards I get a cookie."; bquotes[228]="

Jenny: You're here again? You kids really dig the library don't you?

Buffy: We're literary.

Xander: To read makes our speaking English good."; bquotes[229]="

Buffy: Does it ever get easy?

Giles: You mean life?

Buffy: Yeah, does it ever get easy?

Giles: What do you want me to say?

Buffy: Lie to me.

Giles: Yes. It's terribly simple. The good guys are always
stalwart and true. The bad guys are easily distinguished
by their pointy horns or black hats, and we always defeat them
and save the day. No one ever dies...
and everyone lives happily ever after.

Buffy: Liar."; bquotes[230]="

Xander: Well, yeah. I'd give anything to be
able to turn invisible. I wouldn't use my powers to
beat people up, but use my powers to protect the girl's locker room."; bquotes[231]="

Buffy: You know, for someone who teaches
human behavior, you might try showing some.

Professor Walsh:It's not my job to coddle my students.

Buffy: You're right. A human being in pain has nothing to do
with your job. (leaves)

Professor Walsh: I like her.

Riley: Really? You don't think she's a little peculiar?"; bquotes[232]="

Buffy: I told you. I said end of the world. And you're like,

'Pooh-pooh, Southern California, pooh-pooh.'

Giles: I'm so very sorry. My contrition completely dwarfs
the impending apocalypse."; bquotes[233]="

Riley: I thought maybe we could have a little spread.
Sandwiches, maybe some ants. Could be fun.

Buffy: We were talking about a picnic?

Riley: Oh... so, was that a conversation I actually had or
one I was just practicing?"; bquotes[234]="

Buffy: Oh, look at my poor neck...
all bare and tender and exposed. All that blood, just pumping away.

Giles: Oh, please.

Spike: Giles, make her stop!

Giles: If those two don't kill each other, I might lend a hand."; bquotes[235]="

Xander: Jeez. You mean Oz just sent for his stuff
and didn't even call her? That's pretty harsh.

Anya: I only wish I had my powers back. I'd liquefy his entrails for her.

Xander: That's sweet."; bquotes[236]="

Xander: What's going on here?
People are going all Felicity with their hair."; bquotes[237]="

Giles: But this is why I think we should all keep
a level head in this.

Willow: And I happen to think mine is the level head
and yours is the one things would roll off of."; bquotes[238]="

Buffy: Cool. You guys can do the brain thing.
I'm gonna go to class.

Oz: Which could also be construed as the brain thing."; bquotes[239]="

Willow: I just talked to Buffy, and yeah,
I think she's feeling a little... insane. No, not bitchy crazy,
more like homicidal maniac crazy.
So I told her to come see you, 'kay?"; bquotes[240]="

Principal Snyder: A lot of educators tell students,
'Think of your principal as your pal'
I say, 'Think of me as your judge, jury, and executioner.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"; bquotes[241]="

Giles: I need you to take Spike for a few days.

Xander: What?

Spike: What?

Anya: What?

Spike: I'm not stayin' with him.

Giles: I have a friend who's coming to town, and I'd like us to be alone.

Anya: Oh, you mean an orgasm friend?

Giles: Yes, that's exactly the most appalling thing you could have said."; bquotes[242]="

Spike: We're out of Wheat-a-Bix.

Giles: We are out of Wheat-a-Bix because you ate it all. Again.

Spike: Get some more.

Giles: I thought vampires were supposed to eat blood.

Spike: Yeah, well, sometimes I like to crumble up the
Wheat-a-Bix in the blood. Gives it a little texture.

Giles: Since the picture you just painted means that
I will never touch food of any kind again,
you'll just have to pick it up yourself.

Spike: Sissy."; bquotes[243]="

Adam: You failed me.

Spike: Let's not quibble about who failed who."; bquotes[244]="

Angel: Buffy, careful with this gift.
Lots of things that seem strong and good and powerful,
they can be painful.

Buffy: Like, say, immortality?

Angel: Exactly. I'm dying to get rid of that.

Buffy: Funny.

Angel: I'm a funny guy."; bquotes[245]="

Angel: This isn't some fairy tale. When I kiss you...
you don't wake up from a deep sleep and live happily ever after.

Buffy: No... when you kiss me, I wanna die."; bquotes[246]="

(After finding Spike outside her house.)

Buffy: What are you doing here, Spike? Five words or less!

Spike: (counting on fingers) Out... for... a... walk... bitch."; bquotes[247]="

Oz: We survived.

Buffy: Yeah, it was some battle.

Oz: I meant high school."; bquotes[248]="

Xander: Cavalry's here!
Cavalry's a scared guy with a club, but it's here!"; bquotes[249]="

Willow: Oz is a werewolf.

Buffy: It's a long story.

Oz: Got bit.

Buffy: But obviously not that long."; bquotes[250]="

(In response to being asked to fight a troll)

Spike: I would, but I'm paralyzed with not caring very much."; bquotes[251]="

Buffy: Every time you show up like this,
you risk all your parts, you know that?

Spike: I wouldn't be here if I didn't have a good reason.
As usual, I'm here to help you and I... are you naked under there?

Buffy: Get out.

Spike: No, I'm serious. I mean, not about the naked part..."; bquotes[252]="

Cordelia: You're really campaigning for bitch of the year, aren't you?

Buffy: As defending champion, you nervous?

Cordelia: I can hold my own."; bquotes[253]="

Xander: We're right behind you, only further back."; bquotes[254]="

Riley: When I'm around you Buffy I find myself
needing to know the plural of apocalypse."; bquotes[255]="

Whistler: Bottom line is, even if you see them
coming, you're not ready for the big moments.
No one asks for their life to change, not really.
But it does. So, what are we, helpless? Puppets?
Nah. The big moments are gonna come, you can't help that.
It's what you do afterwards that counts.
That's when you find out who you are."; bquotes[256]="

Xander: All right, where is he? Where's the creep
who turned me into a spider-eating man-bitch?

Buffy: He's gone.

Xander: Dammit. You know what? I'm sick of this.
I'm tired of being the guy who eats insects and gets the
funny syphilis. As of this moment, it's over.
I'm through being everybody's butt-monkey!

Buffy: Check. No more butt-monkey."; bquotes[257]="

Angel: I'm weak. I've never been anything else.
I wanted to lose myself in you. I know it will cost me my soul,
and part of me didn't care. It's not the demon in me that
needs killing, Buffy, it's the man."; bquotes[258]="

Buffy: Angel, do you snore?

Angel: I don't know. It's been a long time since anyone's
been in a position to let me know."; bquotes[259]="

Spike: I'm bad! It's just I can't bite anymore, thanks to you wankers...
Bye the bye, if you're trying to kill her... (gives Riley two thumbs up)"; bquotes[260]="

Ford: What happened?

Spike: We're stuck in a basement.

Ford: Buffy?

Spike: She's not stuck in a basement."; bquotes[261]="

Willy: What are you gonna' do with him, anyway?

Spike: I'm thinkin' maybe dinner and a movie.
I don't want to rush into anything. I've been hurt, you know."; bquotes[262]="

Spike: A slayer with family and friends.
That sure as hell wasn't in the brochure."; bquotes[263]="

Spike: Oh, sod the spell. Your friends are in the factory.
I'm really glad I came here, you know? I've been all wrongheaded
about this. weepin', crawlin', blamin' everybody else.
I want Dru back. I've just gotta be the man I was,
The man She loved. I'm going to do what I should have done
in the first place-- I'll find here, wherever she is, tie her up,
torture her until she likes me again."; bquotes[264]="

Buffy: Do we really need weapons for this?

Spike: I just like them. They make me feel all manly."; bquotes[265]="

Spike: What's Big Blue doing anyway?

The Judge: I am preparing.

Spike: It's interesting to me that preparing looks a great bit like sitting on your ass."; bquotes[266]="

Spike: We like to talk big... vampires do.
'I'm going to destroy the world.' That's just tough-guy talk.
Strutting around with your friends over a pint of blood.
The truth is, I _like_ this world. You've got...dog racing,
Manchester United. And you've got people.
Billions of people walking around like Happy Meals with legs.
It's all right here. But then someone comes along with a vision.
With a real... passion for destruction. Angel could pull it off.
Good-bye, Picadilly. Farewell, Leicester-bloody-Square."; bquotes[267]="

Xander: This is just too much. I mean, yesterday's
my life like, uh oh, pop quiz. Today, it's rain of toads."; bquotes[268]="

Giles: (scoffs) Magic! Magic's all balderdash and
chicanery. I'm afraid we don't know a bloody thing.
(everyone looking at him) Except I seem to be British,
don't I? Uh, and a man. With ... glasses. (removes glasses)
Well, that narrows it down considerably."; bquotes[269]="

Spike: Oh, listen to Mary Poppins.
He's got his crust all stiff and upper with that nancy-boy accent.
(everyone looking at him) You Englishmen are always so... (pauses)
Bloody hell! (ticks off on his fingers)
Sodding, blimey, shagging, knickers, bollocks, oh God! I'm English!

Giles: Welcome to the nancy tribe."; bquotes[270]="

Spike:'Made with care for Randy.' (looks at Giles angrily) Randy

Giles? Why not just call me 'Horny Giles,' or 'Desperate for a

Shag Giles'? I knew there was a reason I hated you!

Giles: Randy's ... a family name, undoubtedly."; bquotes[271]="

Riley: Way I heard it. You were all peaceable now.
You didn't by any chance go and lose that pesky soul again, did you?

Angel: Don't push me, boy.

Riley: Now what possibly could've happened with Buffy that
would make you lose your soul?

Angel: That'd be between me and her.

Riley: Where do you think you're going?

Angel: Going to see an old girlfriend."; bquotes[272]="

Riley: Buffy . . . I feel like we've gotten really close.
At least I thought we had. I don't know much about Angel or your
relationship with him . . but . . . all I ask is . .
if you're gonna break my heart, do it fast.

Buffy: What? You think that Angel and I...

Riley: Didn't you?

Buffy: No. Of course not. How can you even ask me that?

Riley: I don't know. Xander said...

Buffy: Xander?! Oh, he's the deadest man in Deadonia."; bquotes[273]="

Buffy: Then why with the crazy?

Riley: Because I'm so in love with you I can't think straight."; bquotes[274]="

Buffy: Okay, well, how long before you un-crypt it?

Willow: Hours. Days maybe. Anyone suggesting months
would not be accused of crazy talk."; bquotes[275]="

Giles: What ever happened to Latin?
At least when that made no sense, the church approved."; bquotes[276]="

Giles: You never train with me anymore. He's gonna kick your ass."; bquotes[277]="

Xander: Oh. Okay. You and Willow go do the
superpower thing, I'll stay behind and putt around the Batcave
with crusty old Alfred here.

Giles: Ah-ah, no. I am no Alfred, sir. No, you forget. Alfred had a job."; bquotes[278]="

Buffy: I didn't say you were stupid! So...
stop being an idiot and let me fix this!"; bquotes[279]="

Harmony: So Slayer. At least we meet.

Buffy: We've met Harmony, you half-wit."; bquotes[280]="

Xander: Okay, this is starting to grate my cheese.
These woods aren't that big. Now, I know we've beein going
straight because I've been following the North Star.

Willow: Xander, that's not the North Star. It's an airplane.

Xander: No, that's not an airplane. That's definitely...a blimp.
But I can see how one would make that airplane mistake."; /* calculate a random index */ index = Math.floor(Math.random() * bquotes.length); /* display the quotation */ function getbquote() { document.getElementById('quote').innerHTML = bquotes[index]; }